My Heaven

Sea Sick mermaid now

Sick.

Heart Sick.

Head Sick.

Eye Sick.

No.

Heart Very Very Sick.

The rest remain.

One more.....

Sick of your sweet lies. So stop lying to irritate me.

.

.

.

........................

I wonder what he's thinking

Perhaps time would tell it all...

Frankly, I don't know wether I've been or I've been not thinking this few days...somehow i've might just reach a state where i couldn't be bothered or cared anymore.

How far we would go from this point. And if we do go on, what's the point ?

Since the last bitter incident about a week ago, i didn't moved a bit about your claimed caring or your love. Everything seems to have a price for it, and it's counting every minute.

Are we girls just too hard to understand or are you guys just too dumb to figure it out. No wonder they say it all the time... " Women are from Venus, Men are from Mars " and why does God has to put it that way ?? Which get me fierocious from time to time. Dang ! And i think want to test my taste senses (bitter, sweet, sour, salty, spicy you name it) from time to time to check wether they are in good condition.....not this way God... -.- i will be numbed you know ?

It get me wonder too, women can be merely more complicated ? Maybe. But i guess its because we take every detail seriously and that makes us more sensitive ?

I just don't know I wonder what he's thinking.

         

                                          ;( *sniff*

ps: this my 100th post. A mushy one. -.-" Not enlighten at all ey ?

Might find myself a new home to move on.

Quote : " See matters from all aspect wouldn't make you a jackass "

I'll get better in time

It's been the longest winter without you
I didn't know where to turn to
See somehow i can't forget you
After all that we've been through

Going.
Coming.
Thought i heard a knock (Whose there, Noone?)
Thinking that (I deserve it)
Now i have realised
that i really didn't knooOooOw

If you didn't notice
You mean everything (quickly I'm learning)
To love again (all i know is)
I'm gonna be oooOook

Thought i couldn't live without you
It's going to hurt when it heals too
But It'll All get better in time
Even though i really love you
I'm gonna smile because i deserve too
It'll all get better in time

I couldn't turn on the TV
Without something that would remind me
Was it all that easy?
To just put us out your feeling

If i'm dreamin.
Don't want to let it (hurt my feelings)
But that's the past (i believe it)
And i know that, time will heal it

If you didn't notice
Well you mean everything (quickly i'm learning)
Oooh turn up again (All i know is)
I'm be ok

Thought i couldn't live without you
It's gonna hurt when it heals too
But It'll all get better in time
Even though i really love you
I'm gonna smile because i deserve too (It'll all get better in time)

Since there's no more you and me
This time i let you go so i can be free
And Live my life how it should be(No No No No No No)
No matter how hard it is
I will be fine without you
Yes i Will

Thought i couldn't live without you
It's gonna hurt when it heals too
But It'll all get better in time
Even though i really loved you
I'm gonna smile cos i deserve too. yes i do (It'll all get better in time)

Thought i couldn't live without you
It's gonna hurt when it heals too (It'll all get better in time)
Even though i really loved you
Going to smile cos i deserve too

I'll get better in time.

Endless Rain

I'm walking in the rain,
though everything seems to be hurting me for some reason.
There is only nothing.
Just kill me now ... as I roam forever.
Until I can forget your love.

To me sleep is a confusing, narcotic
that only quiets the beating heart.
All my love seems to flow from my body like a heart felt memory.
I keep my love for you to myself.

*Endless rain, fall on my heart In this wounded soul.
Let me forget, all of the hate, all of the sadness,

Days of joy, days of sadness slowly pass me by.
As I try to hold you, you are vanishing before me.
You're just an illusion.
When I am awake, my tears have dried in the sands of sleep.
I'm a rose blooming in the desert.

It's a dream, I'm in love with you.
Hold me warmly in your arms.
I awake from my dream
I can't find my way without you

The dream is over.
I can no longer hear the voice of your gentle words.
Floating off tear stained walls.
So awakening in the morning, I'll move into my dreams ...
until I can forget your love.

Endless rain, fall on my heart, in this wounded soul.
Let me forget, all of the hate, all of the sadness.
Endless rain, let me stay a memory in your heart.
Let me take in your tears, take in your memories.

Insecuress

i do not mean to be harsh on you,

i do not mean to hurt your inner esteem,

maybe you had it in your mind while i was doodling to you,

maybe by little should i know, you're working your way on it,

but you don't wana let me know just yet,

because you wana make sure everything you did came out right,

perfectly for the both of us.

but that's just my maybe, is it your maybe ?

i hate guessing, i hate assuming especially about the future.

yeah, things might not align with our plan sometimes,

but at least with a significant line....things would perhaps be better not worst because we will be working our very best for the better tomorrow.

but somehow till now, insecure still caught the hold of me, the insecurity you're giving me......

this insecure somehow is telling me, you mite not be ......

Apologize. Its too late

I'm holding on your rope
Got me ten feet off the ground
And I'm hearing what you say
But I just can't make a sound
You tell me that you need me
Then you go and cut me down
But wait...
You tell me that you're sorry
Didn't think I'd turn around and say..

That it's too late to apologize, it's too late
I said it's too late to apologize, it's too late

I'd take another chance, take a fall, take a shot for you
And I need you like a heart needs a beat
(But that's nothing new)

I loved you with a fire red, now it's turning blue
And you say
Sorry like the Angel Heaven let me think was you,
But I'm afraid

It's too late to apologize, it's too late
I said it's too late to apologize, it's too late

It's too late to apologize, it's too late
I said it's too late to apologize, it's too late
I said it's too late to apologize,
I said it's too late to apologize

I'm holding your rope
Got me ten feet off the ground...

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

Don't ever let me sing this song to y o u.

Huggies in far far away

every stars glittering upon the sky means sin yee says "i love u" to yewL.

every breeze that gushes thru your cheek means sin yee is thinking of yewL.

every warmth sunray that touches your skin means sin yee is bear hugging yewL.

everytime it rains means sin yee is lonely & missing yewL very very much.

sayang, bb love you ~ goodnite darlyn ! ;)

RAH !

I NEED ADRENALINE NOW !

NOW. NOW. NOW.

ANYONE CAN INJECT ME ?

Pills, The Perishers

I hope my smile
can distract you,
I hope my fists
can fight for two,
So it never has to show
And you’ll never know

I hope my love
can blind you,
I hope my arms
can bind you,
So you’ll never
have to see,
What we’ve grown to be

One may think
we’re alright,
But we need pills
to sleep at night,
We need lies
to make it
through the day,
We’re not ok

One may think
we’re doing fine,
But if I had to lay
it on the line,
We’re losing ground
with every passing day,
We’re not ok

But that’s one thing
I would never,
One thing I would never ~
That’s one thing
I would never... say to you

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

p/s : i never realize the lyrics when you sent it to me months ago... till today, i came across this familiar song again while browsing thru my pc and it made me thot of you. honestly, i couldn't catch the lyrics at all... but i love the rythym so i decided to googled for it & found those above. ;)

my dear honey dew, don't worry much about what you've been yearning for...LOVE will come to you soon, cause you're a lover & God loves you for that ! But you mite need to wait a lil bit, cause He is searching the best for you.

miss you loads ~

Good Nite my darlyns ~

Sweat Nibblets !

Its almost 1am....am still here, bloggin. dam, never been so nervous about Monday.

Can i not go ? Can i just escape from it ?

I so don't wanna face another tomorrow. especially Monday !

Ergh !! Gah !!

What is happening to me ? ? ?

Im getting so nervous about it, God pls give me peace, pls God, hear me...... -_+

.

..

...@

..

.

               

ps: sometimes, i wish you did not call, i wish you would not speak on that topic. hate it everytime we talk about it. so wana stab the issue. can you not do this ?? can you be more manly ?? it gets me thinking about future, it makes me think twice about you. You. You. You. I know you're good, but not good enuff, not on this sensitive issue. Take it up as a MAN. puhleasee ! or else......or else.......it would be a sad story.

Good Nite peeps.

Confession

I've been a real Bad gurl ! God, pls don't punish me.

=.=

I want my sweet escape ! Now !! (*it has ntg to do with boyfren stuff, mind you*)

*No, you silly ! No escape ! Look forward ! Just deal with it.*

Hurh ?? =(

This is Bad..... =.=

I Heartest You

            

I    H E A R T <3  H E A R T   YewL !

& Each day, each time you called, it gets more ! ;)

Distance a problem? aint no more !

Cause lil should you know, i love talking to you Now. At least, i feel we are CommunicaTing now compared to our messy beginnings. (plus, Thanks to SnobS that came in between on & off. bitch. you are still one)

& Hearing your voice made me loved and keep me sane.

Now, No matter what they say, you are mine to keep, and i know you love me and only me.

i'm lovin it Like.No.Other.

B, can't wait till you're back, & make sweet sweet love to you.

I heartest you silly boyfriend ~

Yours truly,

Most adorable gurlfriend. ;) mwah ~

                           

Bcos I Had you in Mind

I've found my Nokia pouch, phew ~

Literally, you said only 2 months then you would come back to Me. But, it's the 4th month & going to be 5th maybe 6th, 7th, 8th, 9th......I'm getting more & more envious of seeing other couples that can be there for each other physically & emotionally whenever they needed each other. Yea, I know NO CHOICE. Farking NO CHOICE. ISH. still, i love you nonetheless.

am still depressed. shitto.

3sCaP3 TuNn3L

mortified.

if only i could find myself an escape tunnel,

if only i could be more courageous,

if only i have less fear,

if only i could be more ferocious facing mr.tomorrow,

if only i could think less -ve possibles,

if only i could sleep less, ;( but i loveee mr. sleep alotss.

if only i could be bolder,

if only i could erase my laziness,

if only i could speed up;

i won't be blogging THIS. -.-

*above these, i still love you nonetheless* (;

Moody sial ~

... =.=

why isit so blardy hard ? how much more effort should i be putting in ? ? gah !

ok ~ i confessed not much did i put in har....i'm still very fresh and very new in it man ! wat can i expect ? no pain no gain ~ gah gah gah !!!

moody. moody. moody.

or prolly PMS is hitting me real soon. ISH.

baby, can you assured me i'll be rewarded very very soon ? NO. only i can assure it myself ! but i have ya LOVE. yes, i do. ;) aww...do you ?

*muah*

Miss You

........

*i    heart    you*

;)

to 'Thee Ex-gfs'

to 'thee ex-gfs'

pls get a life. why send lovey dovey msgs to 'thee ex-bfs whom already attached to a new relationship' like " i stil miss you very much and i stil love you shits when i think of all the good memories we had and how you treated me so sweetly. let's get back together (o.O). you're stil the best to me and how i regret for treating you badly or for letting you go."

Fuck you. you din let Him go. you made Him go away. you ask for it. why wish time could turn back when reality-check, you absolutely know you can't ? why wana intrude 'thee ex-bfs' current relationship ? 'thee ex-gfs' a.k.a BitcH !

and to some extent 'thee ex-gfs' can be really crazy that 'thee ex-gfs' are willing to be the third party as long as 'thee ex-gfs' & 'thee ex-bfs' can get together again. 'thee ex-gfs' don't mind. hey stupid, 'thee gfs' mind lor ! wat are 'thee ex-gfs' thinking ? memalukan kaum perempuan !

i guess the word 'APPRECIATE' is missing in 'thee ex-gfs' brain. why din appreciate while you're with 'thee ex-bfs' ? why keep haunting on to 'thee ex-bfs' life or privacy (eg; havin access to email or friendster accounts) when you already left 'thee ex-bfs' due to your selfishness or when 'thee ex-bfs' left you `cos of your mentalness attitude ?

pls don't send oh-im-so-innocent+decent & wish-you-luck-in-ya-r/ship & hope-he-will-be-a-better-guy-in-future-for-you msgs to 'thee gfs' of 'thee ex-bfs' . whether 'thee gfs' and 'thee ex-bfs' a.k.a 'thee bfs' relationships work out or not, its up to them to determine. dun try to be nice when 'thee ex-gfs' started rivalry for being sucha bitch to intrude 'thee ex-bfs' current relationship in the first place. to 'thee gfs', 'thee ex-gfs' will always be a Bitch !

p.s: if 'thee ex-gfs' are someone who can moved on easily from the past relationship with 'thee ex-bfs'....why do such lil acts like, calling up in the middle of the nite and sayin me is bored. me needs someone to chat. me current bf not treating me as good as you. or send b`day wish like, as usual, me wana be the 1st to wish you (shit) and oh-how-me remember last year me celebrated for you *winks*. (o.O) Oitz ! You tell me you moved on easily ? i say : F U C K you ! and send b`day present + sort-of-love letter or emails with content dat can menaikkan bulu roma sial~ (vomit). or maybe give a book entitled "the morals of life" ? thankx but Lol...'thee ex-gfs' are the ones dat shud be readin it ! NS !

=)

to 'thee ex-bfs' a.k.a 'thee bfs' of 'thee gfs'

you shud know wat to do in order not to hurt 'thee gfs' heart. sakit hati sial~ when 'thee gfs' know 'thee ex-bfs' stil layan 'thee ex-gfs' emo shits. got it ?

i love u.

*this is happiness* =)